When You Feel Lonely

Posted on December 5, 2012

For those who have become isolated in the culture of “mental illness” there can often be an overwhelming sense of aloneness.

Part of that, I think, comes from the strategy of isolation that comes from toxic or dysfunctional family backgrounds where it is learned that to share our “self” is not necessarily a safe thing to do. We learn early on that what we think, feel, say and do is met with criticism and judgement very often.

Then when we are assimilated into the idea that our life struggles are because we are “sick” we become enamored with identifying with and as a “consumer” or as “mentally ill”.

So – as we look at the idea of reducing reliance on or withdrawing from using psychotropic drugs to numb our feelings, mask our emotions and control our emotional reactions it is helpful to look at what other options we have for dealing with the issue of “isolation” as a life issue rather than a “symptom”.

Today a share from International Life Coach Martha Beck on what to do when we feel lonely.

Life is not a disease and we can learn the skills we need to in order to be the “me” we want to be and live the life we want to live.

Here is a brief excerpt….


A simple three-step communication strategy is the most effective way to accomplish this. When you meet people, show real appreciation, then genuine curiosity; offer an honest compliment (step 1) followed by a question (step 2). Say “Cool hat. Where’d you get it?” Most often this approach will result in a brief, pleasant chat. Occasionally, though, someone will answer in such an interesting or charming way that you’ll want to respond by volunteering information about yourself (step 3), such as “I can’t wear hats—they make me look like a mongoose.” Repeat these three steps, and you’ll gradually connect at deeper and deeper levels.

via When You Feel Lonely | Martha Beck.

Read this entire article here:  When You Feel Lonely | Martha Beck.